Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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