My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
you had me at cake vodka
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
These tits shall not be calmed
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