i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
