Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
