it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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