Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
