im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
