its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
