You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
