apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
