none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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