There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I showed him my bush... on skype.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We have started to decorate penises.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
