batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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