i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
