ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
