So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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