Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
honey bunches of taint.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
