I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
