you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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