Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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