Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
