we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
