Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
