brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
