Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
