You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
