This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
