I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
