I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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