I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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