When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
