and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Come see our sink grown plant.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
