What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Come see our sink grown plant.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
