I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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