Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
