he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
