last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
