Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
