How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Please, let me fuck your mom
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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