I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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