I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
