Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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