OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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