yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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