You're so nebulous sometimes
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
