Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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