do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
