You just made me feel so damn special
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
