I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
