I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
