so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
