oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
