you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
